I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
