so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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