im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize