I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
