U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize