WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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