Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Boobs speak an international language.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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