so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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