Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
