do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
