her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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