dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
