I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize