I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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