is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
