I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
