You really coming over, don't trick.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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