What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
