Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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