yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
