after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
