I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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