it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
