Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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