she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
