you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
