So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
