I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its not stalking. its research.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
