Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
