i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
