plz talk dirty to me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
