similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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