it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
