Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
be right there i have to get my cape
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
