***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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