I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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