I can't watch pbs sober anymore
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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