Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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