Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
