i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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