her vagine was all disorganized.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
