Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
