Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
