whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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