1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
you made out with another girl for some wings
These tits shall not be calmed
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
