You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
