never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
