her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
