i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
