did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
