oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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