I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
