she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
