Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
