You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
