Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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