if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
