if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
