please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize