Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
